My Japanese girlfriend Shinobu sent me these pictures the other day. Do you think she's trying to give me a hint?









I thought the Japanese were so clever that their women would come with the arrows alreadeh drawn on. But I couldn't find any so I took out my marker pen and started to draw them on Shinobu.

Then she got all pisseh when I explained that I couldn't find the lines I'd drawn because they got lost in all her chubbeh bits, and had to draw on extra arrows pointing to where the lines were. I got lost at one stage and ended up following a promising looking line to her belleh button then started to rub it up and down instead of circles like the instructions.

Then she got even more pisseh when I drew circles on her boobehs, because the lines on the instructions looked even more complicated than the new blue pen ordering form I'd devised last month.

She eventualleh grabbed the marker pen out of my hand and drew some dotted lines and arrows on my ass instead. I hope she was onleh joking.

Tags: japanese, large women, sex education
Current Mood: worried
Current Music: Buju Banton - Hills and Valleys

Daddeh threatened to kick me out again over the weekend because I stood up to his iron will and refused to take out the garbage. I hate him so much. Doesn't he know I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia? (link) What a nazi! I think he was serious this time too, like he started throwing some of my things into a carboard box and threatening to put them out on the lawn. I totalleh caved after that. Anyweh, one good thing came of this. I found one of my old high school pictures of myself standing in front of my awesome science fair project:

Tags: high school, nazi dad, science fair project
Current Mood: cranky
Current Music: Guided By Voices- Again The Waterloo

People are being mean to me on the internet! I just posted this tidbit about scuzzbag looks I don't appreciate http://community.livejournal.com/sf_drama/1577510.html and people jumped on my case! Sheez...I expected a little sympathy from the dorks at sf_drama. Seriousleh. It IS a snark community! Why don't they like my snarks? I was hoping to make friends there, and maybe even get one of those lonely fat mamas to add me. Then they had the nerve to insinuate I was into my mum a little too much. I love my mummymummymummykins but would never want to have relations with her. I have exact specifications for what kind of women I like and if I were to come up with a top five list of kinds of people I wouldn't want to ever sleep with, "my mother" would be at the top. People had better start treating me better or I'm going to leave the internet forever! WAH! Then to my mortification, I found out that Shinobu has a journal under user name chernobyl_f. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh NO! I just called her a fat cow in that sf_drama entry! I just know she is going to corner me somewhere at work and beat my sorry ass.

Tags: mean people, not my friends, protesting, shinobu
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Backstreet Boys - Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely

uh. mah. GAWD!! My little brother has no class. Noooo class! He let the guys at the local haunted house, Zombie Cauldron, put up a fake tombstone with his name on it! They didn't even spell it right! What is with that 'c' in there?

I was like 'huh? flying turd? Who threw a turd at him?' and he reminded me of an obnoxious juvenile poem we used to say back in middle school that went: The night was dark; the moon was blue. Down the road a shitwagon flew. It hit a bump; a scream was heard. A man was killed by a flying turd.

Nice.

In other news, McCain's campaign trail led him to Manchester last Wednesday. What a joke! Everyone knows that New Hampshire is a solid blue state, so why does he bother?

Tags: election, halloween, haunted house, juvenile behavior
Current Mood: disgusted
Current Music: Barenaked Ladies - The Old Apartment

I found the most AWESOME band today on u-tube and watched Operator Please - A Song About Ping-Pong. I'm definitely going to look up more songs by them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La8EIFlejUQ

Tags: heavy women, music, u-tube, video
Current Mood: exhilarated
Current Music: THIS!!

I really love my new job! Only a few weeks after starting, I got invited to the company dinner dance at a really spiffy ballroom. All the guys kept on teasing me, saying things like "Gayvid, are you going to take your boyfriend?" Those rascals! I don't have a girlfriend, but I met this really nice asian girl Shinobu from accounts on the 2nd floor, and asked her to be my date for the evening. Of course, I am a good looker and a magnet for the girls! X-D

She's also the daughter of the boss of my department. Everyone thinks I dated her to get a promotion, but I just like her coz she's cute, with some nice chubs and a sweet wide ass ;-)

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We had a good time anyway and Shinobu was awesome! Her dad kept an eye on us all night! I guess he was checking me out as future promotion material ;-)

Tags: fujitsu, fun, heavy women, promotion, shinobu, ties, work
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls

Having a Live Journal is such a comfort right now because I now feel as if I can express feelings that I'd be too ashamed to in real life. The last time I opened up and poured my heart out, I was teased for weeks, like when I told a few of my coworkers that I though the idea of female transformers was sexy. They laughed at me for weeks. Anyway, I've always been a bit of a chubby-chaser, yet I've found some kind of fetish people draw on Deviantart that is really sexy. It's called 'inflation' and comes in many forms:

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I hope people reading this don't think I'm too WEIRD!!

Tags: balloons, fetish, inflation, obesity, weird stuff
Current Mood: vulnerable
Current Music: Bjork - Wanderlust

After being pressured by my folks so, I finally found a new job after quitting the local gradeschool last year. Hey, it's not as if I wasn't trying all that time! Anyway, I'm working as an office boy for Fujitsu. With my education and two degrees, I should move up in no time. Today, I learned how to use the copier and got this certificate:

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Tags: copiers, degrees, fujitsu, office boy
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: Enya - Sail Away

It was November of last year when I decided to quit teaching. I had been supervising the kids in the playground at lunchtime when some of them started throwing buckets of sand out of the pit and onto the grass. I told them to stop and bent down to start scooping the sand back, when one of them tipped sand down the back of my pants. Then they all started calling me Mr. Poopy Pants. I waved my finger and told them "You little rascals, it's sand, not poop!", but one smartass kid with wavy blonde hair kept on saying I was Mr. Poopy Pants, and they all started pointing and laughing. He reminded me of a kid I used to always beat up on when I was at school, even though everyone else was scared of him. He even stole my "poopy pants" line! I hate kids, they are so immature. I decided there and then that teaching is not for me, so I packed up my stuff and quit. I'm in the process of looking for a job where I can work with adults in an office setting. Mature professional people like me, who have better things to do than spend their day calling people silly names. It's only a matter of time before I find that job! My dad put in a good word for me at Fujitsu.

Tags: grade school, i hate kids, teaching
Current Mood: infuriated
Current Music: Wham! - Wake me up before you go go